How to Use Words of Affirmation in Your Relationship

Actions speak louder than words—unless of course, your partner’s love language is “words of affirmation.” In this case, words are everything. Whether they are written or spoken, a person whose primary love language is words of affirmation will place a lot of importance on what you have to say to them. Your words will speak volumes to them, even when you want them to just let things slide. In fact, it is not uncommon for simple phrases like “I’m thankful for…” and “I love how you…” will go a long way in communicating how much they are appreciated.

Your partner will especially appreciate compliments, heartfelt thank you’s, handwritten notes, and hearing what they mean to others. The goal is to let partners know how much they mean to you, how they are different from others, and how much you care.

A Closer Look at the Words of Affirmation Love Language

When it comes to Gary Chapman’s five love languages, words of affirmation is the most common love language, edging out quality time and acts of service. It also is the only love language that revolves around verbal expression. To people with this as their primary love language, they feel fulfilled when other shows their appreciation for them. What’s more, these compliments and words of encouragement do not have to be said directly to the person. A simple note or hand-written letter is appreciated just as much as a personal phone call.

Another interesting fact about people with words of affirmation as their primary love language, is that they tend to be the people who notice and care about the details of other people’s lives. For instance, they may be the first to notice their partner’s new haircut. They also remember to ask the neighbor how their sick dog is doing. They may even remember to ask the cashier at the local supermarket if she is feeling any better.

Tips on How to Speak This Love Language

A sweet note laying in the middle of the kitchen counter; a post-it placed in the middle of the mirror; or a favorite poem verse tucked into a suitcase—these examples are just a few of the many different options that speak to a person with words of affirmation as their primary love language. If your partner’s primary love language is words of affirmation, you will need to find ways to communicate how much they mean to you. Here are some tips on how to speak this love language to your partner.

Be Authentic

People who have words of affirmation as their primary love language have a nose for B.S. So be sure you are authentic when talking with them. You want to be sure what you’re saying to them is coming from the heart, because if you are making stuff up, they will be able to tell.